Step 10: CONTINUED TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY AND WHEN WE WERE WRONG, PROMPTLY ADMITTED IT.
I’ve found through my recovery that I am always growing. As a result I continually evaluate my actions and even my inaction in some cases to discover my flaws and work on them. While some may go through the steps once and call it good, I’ve learned that they are a daily way of living. Depending on where I am on a given day I review all of the steps.
When I get into a situation where someone is being less than kind or rude I get ticked. This is when I focus more on my inventory.
I often have to stop my mouth from speaking before I process the situation. I may suddenly find myself making a judgement about a person or situation which triggers me to step back from it and evaluate things more thoroughly. It doesn’t always work because my nature is to react quickly.
I find myself calmer since coming to meetings because I’m not trying to sort out my different excuses. I had a ton of them for when I was in my addiction. In recovery I find less reason to get angry in an instant.
Emotions can be a problem but working the steps helps keep things in perspective.
On occasion I act on emotions and try to justify the anger. With the meetings I have become less likely to do this.
Because of recovery and the people I have met through them, I believe I have become more tolerant and overall a better person for the experience.
It is painful to say “I’m sorry” but I’ve learned that it is also freeing and helpful. Sometimes it is more painful for the person being apologized to as they may not have realized what I did. I have found it better to apologize than to hold it back.
Apologizing has become easier since starting recovery and especially as it has become more a part of who I am.
It is important for me to be prompt in apologizing because when I hold it in I build up more guilt and the person builds up more anger. The sooner I admit something I did wrong the better I feel about the situation. I can also work on rectifying my wrong if I have apologized.
In my addiction I had a defense to hid my problems from others and escape from them. Now that I’m in recovery it is more about fighting off relapse. In both cases I amusing a defense to protect myself. In one from my own demise and in the other from my addiction taking hold of me again.
I used to hide from problems only to find them bigger when I couldn’t hide anymore. Now I have learned to address them to resolve them.
SO what are your thoughts on Step 10?