Step 6: WERE ENTIRELY READY TO HAVE THESE DEFECTS OF CHARACTER REMOVED.
As Recovery started through the meetings I discovered how much maturing I had ahead. Over time I have matured in areas related to addiction thanks to my association with my fellows (those attending meetings with me). Life is a maturing process but recovery is a maturing education.
While I was in my addiction I found myself becoming more and more dishonest to myself and others. Recovery is teaching me the value of honesty. It is helping me to be more honest and improving my ability to be honest with myself. This in turn is making me more honest across the board.
When I was in my addiction I only wanted to hear what I wanted. As recovery grows I find myself more open to the people around me. I hear them more clearly and actually listen to the whole person. My listening goes beyond words to the body language and tone. As a result I find myself more open minded to the whole person.
Defects cause us pain because they are not always visible until we remove the ones that came before. When I began working on the Addiction I discovered other defects that were below the surface. With the defect of addiction uncovered and being worked on I saw my lies to cover them up. I discovered issues with anger, depression and more. Working on each one and removing them as best I can helps me be a better person.
To hold onto one defect is to open ourselves to relapse. ‘Cleaning House’ helps me grow into a better friend, spouse, child, parent and over all citizen. It is important for me to continue attempting to do this for that reason.
I find it hard to let go of defects as they are sometimes so much a part of me. I hold onto judgmental attitudes because then I can see myself as better than someone else. I hold onto self criticism so that I can try to excuse my mistakes and enforce my failures, in turn I can remain comfortable in my discomfort.
I am responsible for limiting myself which keeps me in my ‘comfort zone’. If this is to change I need to be willing to make changes by accepting the help of others. The change happens when I am open to this and thus responsible for the moment.
With the help of my higher power I can accomplish what is intended for me. For me that Higher Power is God, who desires that I be interactive with others and both help and be helped through it. Since recovery there has been a clearer view of what it means for me in that I feel purpose in writing, sharing and speaking to others who are seeking a life better than the solitude of addiction.
When I first started recovery, I felt it was impossible to get better. Seeing people who have made progress encouraged me that it was possible. Now I share my time with those who look to get in time. Without those who came before (have time abstaining) it would be difficult to build any significant success because all that is seen is someone who is at the same place. It would not be therapeutic because “Misery Loves Company” would be the view seen.
ONE DAY AT A TIME is a reminder that what matters is right now. A long term goal is achieved by achieving the goal of this moment. You can’t get a week of clean time without first having a moment then an hour and then a day. Each builds on the other. Without the first the next one is not possible.
When we were in our addiction we believed we were in control but in reality we were out of control. Recovery means realizing that we are not “The Boss” but we can play a roll in our life rather than control it.
What are your thoughts on this step?