When you first realize you have and addiction certain questions arise. It is no different for Compulsive Gamblers.
Over the past year I have had many conversations with people who asked these questions. On occasion I have asked myself these questions. When I was just starting the process that is all I did for months.
Why did I gamble? Why couldn’t I just stop?
How could I have been so stupid? How could I have lost so much? How can I fight back against those who took it? How could I have given away so much?
What’s wrong with me? What kind of fool am I? What can I do now?
I still ask questions but most of the time they are different. That is because, considering all of the things that have changed, I have changed my perspective.
The questions are now more often:
Why has it taken so long to be identified as an addiction? Why can’t I do things to educate others? Why is it so hard to share sometimes?
How can I share my experiences so others are helped? How can I fight for recovery? How can I make people see?
What is different now? What are the signs that no one sees? What is the best way to help others? What is the reason I feel better with less?
So the question for me today is how can I help others while still protecting myself from relapse?
I have begun the process by:
- Telling my story.
- Researching the problem and sharing what I find with others.
- Remembering that Addiction is Addiction as a friend (Mike B.) says often.
- Creating a website to share information and resources. (www.Standtallrecoveryservice.com)
- Writing books (even if they have grammatical of typographical errors at times).
- Speaking to groups.
- This Blog
- Facebook groups (secret).
- Chat rooms (although they still have not taken off)
- Hearing other people tell their story from where they are at.
All of this is an ongoing process and there are still days where I think about going back (although it is a fleeting thought). So now comes this question for everyone:
What will you do in THIS moment of recovery to grow and heal?