Personal Recovery And Unity

For me recovery is a journey not a destination. Early in recovery I thought I had nothing to offer but as time went on I discovered I had everything to offer. It isn’t about money, fame or any big recognition but about journeying with others. I found and still find today that the more I give the more I have to give. Giving in recovery is not about the material things but the immaterial.. The gift of recovery is becoming a part of something bigger. I have found that traveling with someone is better than trying to ‘drive them forward’ Walking with someone is better than ‘following them’ If I tell someone how to get their recovery I take away their ability to see it in me. If I follow someone I lose the ability to stay focused. On the other hand, when I walk with them I have found many things to be true:
  1. When I am struggling someone is there to help hold me up.
  2. When someone else is struggling I am there to help hold them up.
  3. When I walk with someone I can not claim superiority as can happen if my ego takes hold and I become too prideful of what I have done.
There are more things but these rank as the ones that stick with me at the core.
In my addiction many things were falsely believed. I saw the fantasy of wealth, fame and all the wonderful things in life.
In my recovery I have found far greater things than ever imagined. I have found friends that are (hopefully) true. I have traveled (through Zoom) to many places without a passport or large sums of money. I have found peace in the journey rather than longing for the destination.

Humble Recovery.




In Recovery it is often a problem that our pride and self importance get’s in the way of our growth.  In recent years I have been focusing on my mortality and what that means.  Does it mean I go looking to make my mark on the world, try to ‘save’ others, tell people how to gain their recovery or is it about focusing on my recovery and being a living example.

Long ago I was told that any good lesson is one that the teacher learns as much as the student.  What the person meant was that If ever anyone started teaching me my recovery don’t listen to them unless they were also listening to you. He further elaborated and said that a true recovery ‘checks their ego, pride and self righteousness at the door’.  It was made clear to me though that I also had to understand that rules were there for a reason and that if someone set them I needed to follow them as long as they didn’t contradict recovery.

The bottom line I got from this person is that if I was humble the only time I would get into serious trouble is when someone with an ego was in control.  It was noted that it had best not be my own or it would be bad for me especially if the other person was also in their ego state.

Recovery: The Difference Between Attraction And Promotion.



Recovery Programs are based on Attraction rather than Promotion, but have you ever thought that maybe some have it confused?  Here are the definitions of both and a discussion of how they differ in approach.



Attraction  (Websters Dictionary)-

 the act, process, or power of attracting
 personal charm
 the action or power of drawing forth a response an attractive quality
a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation
something that attracts or is intended to attract people by appealing to their desires and tastes.
Promotion (Websters Dictionary):
the act or fact of being raised in position or rank PREFERMENT
the act of furthering the growth or development of something especially the furtherance of the acceptance and sale of merchandise through advertising, publicity, or discounting.
Now let’s talk about it in recovery programs.
After over 11 years of recovery I can honestly say that if someone were to say what helped you with recovery I would tell them about my experience in recovery. I would talk about the fellowship of GA as I am a member. I would talk about the way they were welcoming and not pushy.  I would tell them that it was and still is not easy but it is worth it.  I would share MY story and not tell them what they need to do as it is their journey.
Sharing my experience is a way of expressing my recovery that, because I was asked, would be attraction. The person probably saw something in how I presented myself that attracted them to want that same recovery.
When I was early in recovery I would say things like GET TO A MEETING which often gave the person pause and in many ways turned off a potential person looking for recovery.  You might ask why and I would say because it is promotion.
It is important to note that the difference between Attraction and Promotion is sometimes very minor but often very clear.
In recovery if we are attracting people it is by our actions and how we present ourselves.  We can say so much that we cover the attraction with promotion.  That said there is one thing that, while it may seem like promotion it is necessary for attraction to occur. I have seen listings in event area of a paper which list the location, time and day of a meeting without giving more detail than simply that the meeting exists.  I refer to this as attraction for the simple reason that in order for people to find a meeting they have to have information on it’s existence.
Now let’s talk a little about Promotion.  Sometimes when a person get’s ‘time in recovery’ they begin to think they are more than (often it is subconscious but it happens).  Because I have over 11 years it may seem like I am superior to someone new in the program and and it could lead me to ‘tell’ someone what they need to do for recovery.  Others look at holding a position of leadership in a recovery program makes them more than…  The truth is that we are all servants to the program and not better than anyone else.  Another problem is the idea that telling people to go or referring to it as the ‘only way’ can sound so pushy that people will see it as promotion.
I encourage people to let the changes in them be the way they draw others into fellowship. Let personality sit this one out if you want to help someone find recovery then show them yours by how you have changed.  To tell someone what to do or how to do something is to promote rat here than attract.  That said, this is only my opinion and experience. So the question is what attracts you to recovery and what form of promotion worked to get you there?
What are your thoughts?

Returning From Hibernation! Recovery Insights.



I recently read something that really put my mind into over drive.  To start this I want to let people know that while the blog has been quiet for a while it is about to be active again. Now to the discussion.


What is the difference between a theory and a practice that is proven?

A theory is yet to be tested in many cases but can become a proven practice. A proven practice is simply a theory proven.


Now to the question of what works for recovery.  While some would say Gamblers Anonymous is the only way, they miss the point that it is more than simply a name. It is a set of principles and actionable steps to treat the disease of addiction.  Those very principles and actionable steps are written differently but are still the foundation of several programs. Just as  Gamblers Anonymous received it’s foundation from AA and other programs that came before, so did programs like Celebrate Recovery, Recovery Anonymous, Recovery Unanimous and other programs. The main difference is how these programs approach attracting people to them.


For me the way Gamblers Anonymous lays it out works but I have known people who have success with these other programs.  So remember that focusing on my recovery doesn’t mean tearing down someone else’s recovery through a different program.  If that program doesn’t work for them they can come to the one I am in. If the one I am in doesn’t work for them then maybe one of the other ones will. It is not my place to judge how someone else does their recovery but only to work my recovery and respect them for theirs.



For a long time this blog has had encouragements posted 3 times a week to cover every day. It is now being evaluated because of some advertising that shows up with it that is counter to the principles of Recovery.  Since the posts are intended to help with recovery from Compulsive Gambling it is counter productive to have advertisements for Gambling establishments come up with it. In recent days there has been an increase in that type of advertising so for the next few weeks it will be down unless a solution can be found.

Better Late Than Never!



Well it seems I found myself a bit distracted over the bast few days. But even so I finally wrote this. Recovery isn’t about when we get started but that we do get started. I wrote this as encouragement for Wednesday and Thursday But it arrived so late that it will be Thursday at the point it arrives.  Again though at least it arrived. Consider the family that has been waiting to get their addict family member back. They are glad to have you back before you die which means they never got you back! So remember it isn’t about when but it is about that we are doing it. If we didn’t then those we love would not have a chance to have you back in their life at all! So for August 22 and 23 (Wednesday and Thursday) remember that thought! “Better late than never!”

Pain In Recovery


We often struggle with recovery because there has been so much pain in our addiction. It haunts us and we seek to hide from it. Sadly the pain is part of the growing process of recovery. Without it we are simply ‘numb’ to reality.

Monday August 20, 2018

Remember that recovery is not a guarantee of instant repair. It is a guarantee of hard work ahead.

Tuesday August 21, 2018

Recovery is healing many wounds both to us and ones we have given. It will take time but will also be worth more than we could ever imagine!

Depression, Recovery And Hope!


It has been rough lately but we persevere despite being attacked and put down.  Struggles are a part of recovery no matter how long you have been in recovery. I will share my own experience. As Trouble flared in a group I found myself thinking back to my old ways of escape. I stopped myself but also had other thoughts.  Some are familiar and others have long been suppressed by my working recovery.

24 hours ago I was ready to ‘throw in the towel’ and let things end with respect to that group ( I created it to help and felt it was being destroyed). My fellowship of recovery talked me out of it. But still the pain was there. I considered drinking away my sorrows but that would solve nothing.  I began to have my severe depression set in and even as I prepared to write this considered the unthinkable.

It is because I am not perfect and yet have people around me who support recovery that such things do not happen. I will not let my depression, my addiction or other people prevent me from my recovery.

August 17, 18 and 19 (Friday, Saturday and Sunday)

Thoughts for the weekend:

Recovery is knowing you can’t do it alone and that you don’t have to.

Hope can come from pain.

Recovery is allowing yourself to feel but not allowing the feelings to control your actions.


Secure In Recovery!



As I sit for the 3rd time in several months waiting for a car repair I think of how our recovery helps us be secure in who we are despite our insecurities that were plaguing us in our addiction. We no longer need to lie to hide from others. No longer is rumor a way to create distractions from ourselves and we are becoming content in the moment.

Wednesday August 15, 2018

Remember that our old self is still lurking and as a result we should remember that our new self (the pre addiction self of better) is there for a reason. Our desire to remain clean!  Focus on that desire in this moment and know that we are better for it.

Thursday August 16, 2018

Recovery is growth. If we stop growing in our recovery we risk prison, insanity and/ or death.  Remember how good it feels to be secure in this moment and the hope it gives us for the next moment.

In The Moment!


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Sometimes we get to far ahead of ourselves and sometimes we are behind the curve. Learning to just be ‘in the moment’ is key to recovery because we can’t do anything about yesterday and tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet BUT this moment will help determine the next moment. If we are aware of where we are (or when we are) it tends to keep us focused.

Monday August 13, 2018

This post is coming out late but it still is in this moment. remember to be focused.  Recovery is being present in the moment.

Tuesday August 14, 2018

Recovery is a journey and it needs to have a safe place to get the food to flourish. Allow yourself to find peace!

Males and Females have some similarities and some differences in recovery if you are struggling with where you are consider two groups.

Compulsive Gambling Recovery Help Connect  is where you will find help regardless of your gender and it can help with your recovery.

Grow: Gambling Recovery of Women is the sister group that is helpful for women who need the connection in a safe place first.  It is not a place where you will find the things sometimes seen because it is JUST FOR WOMEN! Once you find hope and strength it can make all the difference.

Neither site allows for ‘predatory’ behavior but ladies may want to ‘get their feet wet with the all women group and then join the Original  Group for even more resources!