When I am struggling someone is there to help hold me up.
When someone else is struggling I am there to help hold them up.
When I walk with someone I can not claim superiority as can happen if my ego takes hold and I become too prideful of what I have done.
In Recovery it is often a problem that our pride and self importance get’s in the way of our growth. In recent years I have been focusing on my mortality and what that means. Does it mean I go looking to make my mark on the world, try to ‘save’ others, tell people how to gain their recovery or is it about focusing on my recovery and being a living example.
Long ago I was told that any good lesson is one that the teacher learns as much as the student. What the person meant was that If ever anyone started teaching me my recovery don’t listen to them unless they were also listening to you. He further elaborated and said that a true recovery ‘checks their ego, pride and self righteousness at the door’. It was made clear to me though that I also had to understand that rules were there for a reason and that if someone set them I needed to follow them as long as they didn’t contradict recovery.
The bottom line I got from this person is that if I was humble the only time I would get into serious trouble is when someone with an ego was in control. It was noted that it had best not be my own or it would be bad for me especially if the other person was also in their ego state.
Recovery Programs are based on Attraction rather than Promotion, but have you ever thought that maybe some have it confused? Here are the definitions of both and a discussion of how they differ in approach.
Attraction (Websters Dictionary)-
I recently read something that really put my mind into over drive. To start this I want to let people know that while the blog has been quiet for a while it is about to be active again. Now to the discussion.
What is the difference between a theory and a practice that is proven?
A theory is yet to be tested in many cases but can become a proven practice. A proven practice is simply a theory proven.
Now to the question of what works for recovery. While some would say Gamblers Anonymous is the only way, they miss the point that it is more than simply a name. It is a set of principles and actionable steps to treat the disease of addiction. Those very principles and actionable steps are written differently but are still the foundation of several programs. Just as Gamblers Anonymous received it’s foundation from AA and other programs that came before, so did programs like Celebrate Recovery, Recovery Anonymous, Recovery Unanimous and other programs. The main difference is how these programs approach attracting people to them.
For me the way Gamblers Anonymous lays it out works but I have known people who have success with these other programs. So remember that focusing on my recovery doesn’t mean tearing down someone else’s recovery through a different program. If that program doesn’t work for them they can come to the one I am in. If the one I am in doesn’t work for them then maybe one of the other ones will. It is not my place to judge how someone else does their recovery but only to work my recovery and respect them for theirs.
For a long time this blog has had encouragements posted 3 times a week to cover every day. It is now being evaluated because of some advertising that shows up with it that is counter to the principles of Recovery. Since the posts are intended to help with recovery from Compulsive Gambling it is counter productive to have advertisements for Gambling establishments come up with it. In recent days there has been an increase in that type of advertising so for the next few weeks it will be down unless a solution can be found.
Well it seems I found myself a bit distracted over the bast few days. But even so I finally wrote this. Recovery isn’t about when we get started but that we do get started. I wrote this as encouragement for Wednesday and Thursday But it arrived so late that it will be Thursday at the point it arrives. Again though at least it arrived. Consider the family that has been waiting to get their addict family member back. They are glad to have you back before you die which means they never got you back! So remember it isn’t about when but it is about that we are doing it. If we didn’t then those we love would not have a chance to have you back in their life at all! So for August 22 and 23 (Wednesday and Thursday) remember that thought! “Better late than never!”
We often struggle with recovery because there has been so much pain in our addiction. It haunts us and we seek to hide from it. Sadly the pain is part of the growing process of recovery. Without it we are simply ‘numb’ to reality.
Monday August 20, 2018
Remember that recovery is not a guarantee of instant repair. It is a guarantee of hard work ahead.
Tuesday August 21, 2018
Recovery is healing many wounds both to us and ones we have given. It will take time but will also be worth more than we could ever imagine!
It has been rough lately but we persevere despite being attacked and put down. Struggles are a part of recovery no matter how long you have been in recovery. I will share my own experience. As Trouble flared in a group I found myself thinking back to my old ways of escape. I stopped myself but also had other thoughts. Some are familiar and others have long been suppressed by my working recovery.
24 hours ago I was ready to ‘throw in the towel’ and let things end with respect to that group ( I created it to help and felt it was being destroyed). My fellowship of recovery talked me out of it. But still the pain was there. I considered drinking away my sorrows but that would solve nothing. I began to have my severe depression set in and even as I prepared to write this considered the unthinkable.
It is because I am not perfect and yet have people around me who support recovery that such things do not happen. I will not let my depression, my addiction or other people prevent me from my recovery.
August 17, 18 and 19 (Friday, Saturday and Sunday)
Thoughts for the weekend:
Recovery is knowing you can’t do it alone and that you don’t have to.
Hope can come from pain.
Recovery is allowing yourself to feel but not allowing the feelings to control your actions.
As I sit for the 3rd time in several months waiting for a car repair I think of how our recovery helps us be secure in who we are despite our insecurities that were plaguing us in our addiction. We no longer need to lie to hide from others. No longer is rumor a way to create distractions from ourselves and we are becoming content in the moment.
Wednesday August 15, 2018
Remember that our old self is still lurking and as a result we should remember that our new self (the pre addiction self of better) is there for a reason. Our desire to remain clean! Focus on that desire in this moment and know that we are better for it.
Thursday August 16, 2018
Recovery is growth. If we stop growing in our recovery we risk prison, insanity and/ or death. Remember how good it feels to be secure in this moment and the hope it gives us for the next moment.
Sometimes we get to far ahead of ourselves and sometimes we are behind the curve. Learning to just be ‘in the moment’ is key to recovery because we can’t do anything about yesterday and tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet BUT this moment will help determine the next moment. If we are aware of where we are (or when we are) it tends to keep us focused.
Monday August 13, 2018
This post is coming out late but it still is in this moment. remember to be focused. Recovery is being present in the moment.
Tuesday August 14, 2018
Recovery is a journey and it needs to have a safe place to get the food to flourish. Allow yourself to find peace!
Males and Females have some similarities and some differences in recovery if you are struggling with where you are consider two groups.
Compulsive Gambling Recovery Help Connect is where you will find help regardless of your gender and it can help with your recovery.
Grow: Gambling Recovery of Women is the sister group that is helpful for women who need the connection in a safe place first. It is not a place where you will find the things sometimes seen because it is JUST FOR WOMEN! Once you find hope and strength it can make all the difference.
Neither site allows for ‘predatory’ behavior but ladies may want to ‘get their feet wet with the all women group and then join the Original Group for even more resources!